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[anequal]

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[phoenix_temple]

[She will just take a slice and sit down and stare at her palm for a few seconds.]

I wonder how much I could heal on somebody. I mean--Marina was bad.

[anequal]

I think it's going to be one of those things. The more energy you have the more you can heal but you can't bring back the dead. That sort of thing?

[phoenix_temple]

I don't feel tired at all after that.

I kind of feel like I'm buzzing.

[anequal]

Adrenaline?

[phoenix_temple]

Maybe. I've never felt it like this before.

[anequal]

Mm. At least you're not tired from it. [He takes a bite of the pizza. pizza!]

[phoenix_temple]

I'm just tired from not sleeping right all month. I don't get how people can stay so upbeat about it.

[anequal]

Stubborn determination.

Armin's kind of a dick. So I used to be him or something. I'm not him.

[phoenix_temple]

Yeah, but--Does Armin give you magic powers? How do you react to that kind of t
thing without freaking out. [She holds out her palm] You can't even tell.

[anequal]

Armin's a soldier. But I guess he's not a titan so you won't see me turning into a fifty foot dickless monster at least.

But who knows? They say there are physical changes. If at any point he lost a limb and I start freaking out, I'll be grateful if you healed any bleeding.

[phoenix_temple]

No I'll completely ignore you. Come on, Anthony. I'm not just going to let you bleed to death.

[anequal]

You could. And you should, if it'll put you in danger.

[phoenix_temple]

Well, I won't. Friends, remember? If you died like that, I'd never forgive myself.

[anequal]

Wow. If you never forgave me for dying I can never make up for that again.

[phoenix_temple]

Exactly. It's very complicated and I'd just really like to avoid either of us dying in the future, so I won't let you bleed to death.

[anequal]

... Thanks.

I'll do my best so I won't need you to do it though.

[phoenix_temple]

Well, echoes make it kind of hard to prevent stuff happening, but I really, really hope Armin had all his limbs.

[anequal]

I hope so, too. And for the most of us, that we dont' remember shit like that.

[phoenix_temple]

... [A long pause. Anais' face darkens.]

... If we remember living as these people--

What if we come to remember how they died?

[anequal]

Then... we have to deal with it.

We probably have doctors on the network. You seek out help if you need help. You seek out friends to talk to.

We have to do our best to remember that we're still alive. We can't stop it, but we can cope with it, right?

[phoenix_temple]

It just seems like something we might get hit with, you know?

I don't even know her name, but I know she definitely had a weird life... but everything I've seen of this girl... everything was with people around the same age.

The first one--the boy who pushed her out of the way, he was in my latest one and it doesn't seem like any time passed. And--I don't know. I wonder why it's such a narrow timeline...

[anequal]

... It's the same for me.

I've remembered some things, and everyone I see in it are around my age. Or at the most in their twenties.

Most of Armin's friends are going to die, I think, because of the titans. They're really, really hard to kill, apparently. Maybe if I don't remember anything really beyond what I see, maybe Armin's dead.

Maybe I'll remember how all the people I met here whose past selves knew Armin died.

[phoenix_temple]

[She considers this idea.

She doesn't like this idea at all. She frowns. She doesn't want to know how Armin died--and she doesn't want Anthony to know either. Not any more than she wants to know how the curly haired blonde who could contact greying ten year olds with telepathic marshmallows and heal people died.

She takes a moment to take Anthony's hand across the table if only to remind herself that they're both solid right here right now. She brought up the topic and she likes it less and less every second.]

... But that doesn't matter now, right? No titans. And hopefully minimal monsters.

We stay alive. Until we're really, really old. And we don't have to worry about why they were young.

Right?

[anequal]

[He blinks. And he looks up ant blinks at her when she takes his hand, not expecting the gesture. Not knowing if she's trying to comfort him or get the comfort from him. But he looks at her face, and he puts a strong smile on his own.]

'Course we are! [Strong. Smiling. Assuring. That's how he is to Marzio when he's down. Maybe she needs that.] There's no use worrying about what they went through. Whatever it is, it's out of our control, so we just need to deal with it until this passes.

[phoenix_temple]

[She can't bring herself to return the smile, suddenly wondering if everyone sometimes thinks the same thing.

That this person they're learning about, slowly becoming in a way, had to die for them to exist. Why? And how?

There's another long pause as she considers what he says against her own thoughts.

And then realizes she's definitely still holding his hand and jerks back, red-faced.]

Sorry. I was thinking too much.